I’m on a nocturnal duty sched for today and tomorrow. I’ve got nothin to do.. I felt so efffin’ bored so I did this cover of Payphone by Maroon 5.. and well, I’m diggin’ this song so much it replays a lot in my head.. Hope y’all like it :)
14 May 2012 @ 06:29PM / You call me selfish?!
I’m sorry, what did you say?! That I’m selfish?! Have I been selfish all along?! Is that what you really think I am?!
Was I selfish when I swallowed my disgusting pride to be honest enough to tell you how I really felt when you asked for it?! Was I selfish when I’ve put up with all your indifference and cold treatments the whole time because, as it turns out, you can’t handle the truth? Was I selfish when I tried to patch things up because I wanted to save our friendship? Was I selfish when I admitted my faults, that because of my fuckin’ feelings for you, everything seemed to fall apart? Was I selfish when I told you I was hurt because you seemed to care less? Is it selfish to be transparent with your feelings?! And was I selfish when after almost two years, I just grew tired of this whole shitty routine of us not talking to each other, so I decided to stop making all the effort and just leave it the way it is, then see what happens?! Was I really selfish when I just tried to gain some respect for myself?!
Now you tell me, was I really selfish?! Or you hated me enough to call me selfish?! What did I ever do to you?! If you’ve let this go on for so long, I could probably think that this has all been a lie, our “friendship” was. I don’t wanna be bitter on you, but you’re making it hard for me not to.
—Stories of a superhuman
(Source: romanceinthedarkness)
This post is mostly written in BISAYA.
I haven’t written you a letter since my highschool graduation. You may not be able to read this but WTH, I’m gonna do it anyway. I’m too shy to tell you everything, I feel so baby-ish.. But don’t get me wrong Ma, I still love to be called your big baby..
Most people see you as “Ang bagsik nga Policewoman”..
others even call you “Madame Els”..
still a few others see you as intimidating, mean, and maldita..
but I don’t care how other people see you.. because for me, ShEenzy, and Pearl, you‘re always gonna be our MAMA ELSA.. ♥
Ma, pasensya na gyud kung mabuslot imung bulsa tungod sakong allowance per week. Sorry sad kaayu nga wala koy uli-uli sa balay. Sorry pud kung wa koy ikahatag nga gift nimu ugma, di man gud ko kauli. Ug labaw sa tanan, sorry kung naghatag ko nimug grabing labad sa ulo saona. Di lang ko mupramis Ma, pero maningkamot ko nga magtinarong para maproud ka nako (char)..
Pero bitaw Ma, salamat kaayu sa tanan. Kapila nako kaassist ug manganak, ug karealize ko unsa kalisod ang magmabdos ug manganak.. not just once, BUT THRICE!! di man gyud namu mabayran tanan sakripisyo nimu para namu, kahibaw mi ana.. so amung ikaoffer nimu kay amung mga diploma puhon ug ang immeasurable pride sa isa ka Mama nga makapahuman siya ug skwela sa iyang mga anak..
Mama Elsa, we love you so much.. Happy Mother’s Day..
how i wish naa ko diha kay sure ko naa juy kaon ginagmay :)))
How to hold back your tears.
- Try not to think about what is causing the pain. Think of other things; for example a time when you were having a good time with your family and friends.
- Walk away from the situation before you start to cry.
- Hold your eyes open wide and don’t blink very often. It is easier to keep the tears from starting than it is to stop them after they begin to fall.
- While not moving your head, look up with your eyes. It is almost impossible to cry when you do this.
- Hold your breath for 20-30 seconds, then very slowly release the breath.
- Pinch yourself somewhere or gently bite your tongue with your teeth to re-direct your attention to a localized, controllable physical pain.
- Relax your jaw. This may seem weird, but it does help. Don’t tighten your jaw, just relax. Open it once or twice, maybe.
- Widen your focus to include a bird’s eye view of the situation, and see that it’s just a small event amongst everything that is going on in the whole world and it will soon pass.
- Do give yourself time privately to cry about this specific trigger as well as generalized feelings of sadness or fear that you may have. If you are all bottled-up, you will likely be more prone to crying in public or in situations where you would rather not cry.
- Sometimes people don’t know that they are hurting you. If you don’t let them know by crying, let them know in some other way or stay out of this type of situation if you can.
- Relax your throat.
- Think happy thoughts. It might even make you laugh!
- Make sure you need to hold back tears in a given situation. Keeping a “stiff upper lip” out of vanity or stubbornness can be exhausting. Letting people see that you are human can make relationships closer and help others feel more connected to and empathetic with you.
- Distract yourself. Wherever you are at the time, look at the walls and think of the color of them, and say in your mind “white walls” or look at the grass and think “green grass.” This can often help keep the tears from slipping out!
- Think of how you are going to get over the situation. Sometimes (most times) running away from the problem will make getting over it harder to do later.
- Look calm. if all eyes are on you and your boss or teacher scolds you, loosen your face, look straight and away (i.e. not into anybody’s face). Give no expressions, a smiling face could offend them and a sad face would just lead to tears. Imagine the situation to be a movie shoot, it would make it easier for you to look calm
Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Hold-Back-Tears (via scrumptiouswords)
(via disturbedlights)
On my way to drop my laundry, have lunch, and zoom away to PM shift duty at Vicente Sotto Memorial Medical Center - Trauma Center.
Haaaaayyyy, I didn’t actually have much sleep due to the bulk of requirements that I have to pass today.. arggghhhh I’m sleepy and hungry! Got to go! :D
Looking back,
I still couldn’t fully fathom what led us towards this messed up situation. I’m quite sure we both wanted what’s best for everyone, for both of us, for our friendship.. yes, we hoped for the best. But each decision and each step we took towards straightening our knots and closing our gaps seemed to lean towards the negative side of things. We drifted farther from each other. What’s sadder is this: right now, I think it’s most conducive to give ourselves ample and enough time to heal, because the more we try, the more we wind up hurting each other.
For now, let us allow time to take its course. I feel sorry for everything, for all the mistakes I’ve made. I can’t take it all back.. hell, I wish I could. Now, all that’s left to do is nothing. We both just have to wait and see where all these takes us.. and I hope it takes us to places much better than they once were.
The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.
(Source: kathyhazelespinozarazon, via xtrinhney)
—Unknown (via fuckoff-mondays)
(Source: lifeslittledejavus, via misxbernadette)
After you get hurt
You build these “walls” around you, in fear of getting hurt once again. You don’t let anyone in, you don’t give anyone your all because you constantly remind yourself of the past. You even get scared when someone gets too close. Which is terrible because you not only hurt yourself but others. Just remember that one day you need to have the strength to put these walls down for someone, or you will never be truly happy.
(via xtrinhney)
Smile and be thankful.
Today is not just any normal day (well at least, that’s how this day seems to me). Here are some of the things today that I should be thankful for:
- I got in the Nursing volleyball team.
I feel so blessed to be part of the team. Throughout my college years, I’ve always dreamed to be part of the team, yet I didn’t have the strong balls to participate in the tryouts, for the fear of being rejected and criticized by the higher years. But now that I’m already a senior, there’s nothing to be feared about anymore! Yey!
- We’ll go on Operating Room duty for two days.
More duty means more cases. I badly need to get more cases, since I think I’m one of those people who got the least number of OR cases. and please, cut the case completion short! This duty sched is depriving me of my social life, haha!
- Jollibee’s Coffee Float, heavenly!
I tasted the coffee float, finally! It’s so sweet and creamy, I like it so much! But honestly, I can make one at home using Kopiko Brown Coffee plus some ice cubes. True story, bro.
- I know how to play pingpong already!
My good friends, Fatima and Michael, taught me how to play the game. And fortunately, I was able to catch up easily. I’m now able to rally, and hit the ball fairly well, although my stroke is kinda off, still, I don’t suck like I used to anymore.
- I’m part of CNU’s first Nursing Tabloid.
My journalism skills will be relived and tested. I was part o our highschool journ club, and was the sports editor for our paper, but that was highschool: newb and no pressure at all. This one’s our CN Official Media and we are very pressured by our higher ups. This is a breakthrough in the CN family, and they are expecting us to give them a material worth bragging and entertaining. OMFG.
- Avengers: Tuesday, May 1 of 2012 (CONFIRMED!)
My movie escapade is already scheduled! I’m already dying to watch the movie.. A lot of people have been telling me that the movie was really awesome. Kfyn, I’ll see that for my self SOON! STFU spoilers!
Moral of the story:
“I should learn to appreciate the smallest of blessings. The least i can do is be thankful of these teenie-tiny details that spark some joy in me, because even if I’m pathetic and grieving on the other aspects of my life, it’s not healthy to be sad and sulking all the time right?! They said, “Time heals all wounds..” Hmm.. fine. From now on, I’ll let Time do his job of fixing things that are far beyond my human capacity.. But for now, I’M JUST GONNA HAVE TO SMILE..” :D
Sometimes, when you give up on someone, it’s not because you don’t care anymore, but because you realize they don’t.
(Source: boyslikegirlslikeboys)
